Sex Cost Less When You Buy More

When we ship Sex right to your door, a good portion of the cost is shipping and handling. What most people don't know is that the handling cost is just $1.00 no matter how many units you purchase, and postage (USPS) is incrementally smaller the more units that are shipped. EXAMPLE: One unit of Sex shipped in Texas has $.47 of State Sales Tax, + $1.00 handling, + $1.81 shipping. The total cost of one unit of Sex is $8.97 (still the cheapest sex you'll ever buy). If the same person ordered 6 units of Sex, the total cost would be $40.07, or $6.67 per unit (shipped).

We know having Sex by yourself is pleasurable, but its meant to share. Giving Sex and sharing Sex with others will make them happy and that is what Sex is all about. Sex is humorous, even before you take is out of the box. Check out our disclaimer printed on the inside flap:

DISCLAIMER: There are endless, humorous ideas on how to present Sex. Most of the above are stupid, politically incorrect, ideas that can get you fired, kicked out of school or slapped. Giving Sex to police may be funny but could get you arrested. Use Sex responsibly and in the correct company. Giving Sex to family members is socially unacceptable and disgusting, unless you live in very rural, back woods communities with no indoor plumbing. Please don’t try to eat Sex or stick it in any body orifice as it may cause injury or death, not to mention making you look like a moron when you arrive at the hospital or morgue. If you don’t know what the word orifice means, then put Sex back in the box, back where you found it, and leave it alone. You’re not intelligent enough to have Sex and stay out of trouble.

We hope you enjoy your Sex and by all means, share it with others. This requires your nimble little fingers to link on over to www.sexsoldhereonline.com and place your order now. Get Ya Some!!!!

New Fine Arts

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Protected Sex

Keeping it in you pocket is just fine. Not the same pocket with your keys or change, as that will cause small surface scratches. No problem having your Sex on the fireplace mantel or book shelf. Just brush the dust off once and a while. The maid always messes my Sex up. I get home and she has Sex somewhere in the house where I never have it; the kitchen, dinning room table, my son's desk. You have to watch Sex with your maid. I've heard a lot of men have the same problem.

Keep your Sex clean and safe and you'll have it for a long time. Mine has stayed hard an shinny for years!

Sex in the City?

Sarah Jessica Parker (SJP) needs to be congratulated for her branding. Hit TV show, to movie, and now clothing line. We all know sex sells and SJP has pulled every product debuted on the Sex in the City show up the success ladder with her. Designers to distillers, if people heard or saw it on her show they are buying it now.

I never did send her our Sex. It would have looked nice in her bedroom.

Rainy Day Sex

It's a rainy day here in the Dallas area. What do you think about making a Sex movie? Yep...Sex needs a movie. I have some script ideas, but maybe you'd like to provide some input. What would you like to see in our movie?

Should Persons Under age 18 Buy Sex?

Is Sex (our product)so suggestive that it warrants treatment as explicit sexual material? This is a debate between owners of our firm. We know the statistical data on sexual activity with youth in America today. Though we do not condone sexual activity during adolescents, some of us know that sexually oriented humor is more embraced by youth than actual physical, sexual acts.

Now it may be against school policy to have nude pictures in a school locker, but an artistic impression of the word "sex", such as our product. It's a hoot to tell your friends you have Sex in your locker, or shared Sex with your girl/boy friend in the hall way. Taking a picture of Sex in these settings and submitting them to us may even win you a trip to the Bahamas.

Then there are those students on summer break, doing cool things in exotic places. Take a picture of Sex in these strange and unusual places and you could win big! Just think, you buy our funny little novelty item, you take a creative picture clearly depicting our product in an unusual setting an win an expense paid trip for you and a friend to an exotic paradise. Its easy and fun.

Also please write and tell us the funny things you've done with Sex. Oh yea, if you below age 18, please don't tell us. It will freak out the up tight dudes here. Just tell us you buying it for your mom. It's Mother's Day ya know!

DISCLAIMER: Sex, as noted here is our product and not a physical act, so don't send us any nasty pictures of you boinking your girl friend in the elevator or in the oval office of the White House.

Buy Sex 2 for 1 This week!

Nothing like discount Sex! You'll never (well maybe hardly ever) have a 2 fer offered by the professionals on Harry Hines Ave. but you can get it at www.sexsoldhereonline.com. Starting today, what ever the amount of Sex you buy from our web site, we'll send you double that amount. You order 1, we send you 2, you order 2, we send you 4. Easy!

We made Sex to share and give to friends. Now you can afford to buy Sex and share it with twice as many people.

This special will last until Noon CST, on May 26th. It might be to late to buy Sex for Mother's Day but you can give Sex to all your friends out at the Memorial Day cook out or that graduation gift for someone special.

We're pimpin at twice the speed so get ya some while supplies last.

I'm not a Pimp!

I'm not a pimp, I'm a purveyor of Sex. That was my retort when I was introduced in a business meeting today as a person who sells sex. You should has seen the jaws in the room drop. Grocking people is the whole purpose of Sex. Up-setting the status quo, freaking people out, and reveling in the vast reactions we get when presenting Sex in public. Not quite as bold as banging your wife or girl friend on the table at III Forks restaurant, but you'll never get arrested or thrown out for have our Sex on the table either.

Give your waiter a tip and a good chuckle, a have Sex on the table the next time you go to the restaurant.

It's Friday...have you bought Sex today?

The end of the work week...
The weekend is here...
What are you going to do?

Maybe something good we hope. Take your Sex with you and snap a picture with you and you Sex in a strange place. Send it to us and you might win a prize!

Sex for Sale in Austin, Texas

Thanks to Dreamers DVD in the Lone Star state, the students at University of Texas can now buy Sex before they return home for summer break. Dreamers has 4 locations in Austin and if you don't see it in the store you need to walk up to the cashier and tell them you'd like to buy Sex. Hopefully they'll still have our Sex in stock and not try to pass of some sleazy prostitute with a questionable health record. You'll know the difference when: 1) your charged way more than our sweet little Sex cost, and 2) The box has hair and not the artistic satin red that ours comes in.

And if you UT students don't like the high quality chrome finish that Sex come in, I'll make some in UT orange for you next year.

Enjoy your Sex, and Hook'em Horns!